Upon taking your seat, please ensure that all mobile phones and/or walkie talkies are switched ON. Any bags must be safely stowed in the middle of the ailes, so as…

Upon taking your seat, please ensure that all mobile phones and/or walkie talkies are switched ON. Any bags must be safely stowed in the middle of the ailes, so as to deter anyone from leaving. We’d like to mention that snacks are permitted during the performance, but only the kind that slip down without a squeak—damp crisps are recommended. The matinee will be performed in three acts and will not be paced by intervals, but will ­instead run throughout the day uninterrupted. Please prepare to be overwhelmed. All exits will be barricaded and there’ll be no opportunities to use the bathroom, your compulsory attention is appreciated for the show must go on. So, settle your flesh suits into your assigned flap-down chair and peel back the skin from your eyeballs. You are here to be bemused, seduced, reused and defused! You are here for a slew of purposes, but together in the want for both bread and circuses.